Things My 3-Year-Old Ponders

Hi there!

Everyone gearing up for back to school?

When you feel pretty but also want to stuff your face…

I’m mostly gearing up for Christmas (I purchased two Christmas presents this week. Is that allowed?). I’m also hip-deep in planning a New Year’s girls’ trip with my mom and mother-in-law to Waco to visit the Mecca of all that is gray, white, and shiplapped: The Magnolia Market at the Silos. You can come too, if you’d like. We can share a selfie with our #DemoDay t-shirts. We’ll have plenty of time to catch up as we stand in line(s) for-eh-ver.

Now, on to blog fodder:

Today, I thought I’d entertain you with the musings of my 3-year-old. I hope it’s not just my husband and me who find him hilarious, as these are quickly becoming my favorite posts.

We’re still 100% obsessed with the periodic table at our house (George sings this song on repeat), so enjoy the chemistry-class nostalgia of your middle-school years.

Mama: How many more bites of spaghetti do you think you should take?
George: Zero!
Dada: I think you should take 10.
George: That’s an element!
Dada: Not tin! It’s also a number!

He’s got a one-track mind these days, folks.

Have I mentioned George’s imaginary friends are kids named after the elements? Here, he got a phone call from Seaborgium’s mom.

Mama: If you could go to any continent, where would you go?
George: Asia!
Mama: Which country in Asia would you like to visit?
George: North Korea.
Mama: Why do you want to go to North Korea? What do you think you’d see there?
George: There’s just stuff I’d like to see there.

Don’t we all, son. Don’t we all.

George: That looks like North Korea.
Mama: What does?
George: That cloud. (Pointing)

And, once again, Mama has no idea if the cloud actually looks like a Communist country, but she continues to load up her gym bag and smile encouragingly anyhow.

George: Let me know if you want to sleep with me.

Every night—after the bedtime story, Bible story, prayer, and Mama’s made-up story—George whispers this before I leave. I realize it sounds a little shady in our “lovely” culture, but it’s the most precious thing to me. I never take him up on it (unless we’re on vacation and Mama Just. Needs. More. Sleep.), but it’s just so sweet.

While driving away from a friend’s house…

Mama: Her daddy’s name is Adam.
George: Adam?
Mama: Like Adam and Eve.
George: Like in my physics book.
Mama: Yes, also like “atom.”

What am I going to do with this kid?

George: I’m not very good.
Mama: What do you mean?
George: I’m not very good. My body is trying to get old. And that’s not a good thing.

My body seems to be trying harder than yours, 3-year-old.


Two seconds before: “Stop walking on my periodic table!”

George: Did God make arsenic bad?

This seemed like a very existential, theological question. It falls right in with “Can God create a rock too big to lift?”. Good gracious. Mama basically answered, “Um, well, maybe arsenic isn’t all bad! Maybe it can be used for good things…mumble, mumble…you should ask your daddy!”

Hmm, I’m trying to think if Olivia has anything to offer this week. She’s picking up words every day, and it’s simply precious. Her favorite words are: Minnie (Mouse)!, Peppa (Pig)!, shoe!, babies! and bow! I think she can finally say her (real) name, which is fun. Oh! By the way, in case you’re new, I should let you know that my children’s names aren’t actually George and Olivia. We didn’t name them after fictional British swine, for the record. Read more about all that here.

For more Mama, follow me on Twitter and Instagram.

Published by Christine Boatwright

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