That One Time My Son Asked Me To Kiss His Booty

Whew! Crazy, wonderful weekend!

This was the weekend we officially became “Dr. & Mrs.” on all future wedding invitations, so that’s a definite milestone. My husband wore a cap and gown for the final time (I’m assuming), and now he officially can respond to questions with “Trust me, I’m a doctor.” If it were me, I would use this perk significantly more than he will, I’m certain. He’s a plant geneticists, though, so please don’t send me gross pictures of your medical maladies asking for advice.

They really did look this excited the entire time. No amounts of grandparents making silly faces would inspire smiles out of the two littles.

My 3-year-old, George, left the ceremony with two thoughts on his mind. First, he couldn’t see Dada in the sea of caps and gowns covering the basketball-arena floor. Second, Dada didn’t wave to us (in the 10 seconds George attempted to look for Dada). He was so concerned about these issues that he had me pray about them when I put him to bed that night.

I don’t feel like I have much to share today. Thankfully, my fabulous in-laws always leave my house cleaner than when they arrived, so my house is now messier after they’ve been gone for 24 hours than when my house was full of people. (Thank you, children o’ mine.)

And so, since I don’t have a lot on my mind, I thought I’d share what George has had on his mind over the past few weeks.

George: I fell down. Do you want to kiss my booty?
Mama: Uh, is it OK if I just blow it a kiss?

20180507_143926-139324485.jpgGeorge: Hey, Mama! Mama! I did it! I made dark matter!

I’m not sure why, but this made me hustle into his room, as if I thought he was doing something dangerous. As it turns out, he had spelled out d-a-r-k m-a-t-t-e-r with his magnet letters. FYI: “D is for dark matter” in Chris Ferrie’s ABCs of Space, which Amazon Prime lovingly bestowed upon us last week.

George: I’m teething.
Me: Teething? Like, you’re getting teeth?
George: No! TV-ing! It tells me I want to watch TV.

I have no idea who/what “it” is and why who/what is prompting George to watch TV. I bet Disney has something to do with this…

George: I’m scared of the backyard. It has pollen.

Mama’s interpretation: I want to go to the front yard and play with sidewalk chalk..instead of doing what you want to do.

George: Why is the sky blue?
Mama calls to Dada: Uh, honey? Can you come in here please? George has a question for you…

This is why I married a scientist, so I can wimp out on questions like these. Should make those sex-ed talks very interesting for…not…me.

The first time they’ve successfully roughhoused for more than 30 seconds without someone in tears. Inevitably, someone did end up in tears (Olivia), but progress?

Well, this isn’t really funny so much as precious, but at swim lessons this week, Olivia marched over to the pool, pointed at the water, and stated, “Wah-wah!” So, we’re well on our way to seeing her first post of quotes as well. Y’all. Eighteen months is one of my favorite ages. Three is a bit more of a challenge (ahem, George), but Baby Girl is in the best stage right now.

I would love to hear the crazy and hilarious things your kids say, as I know it isn’t only my goobers! I hope everyone is having a great week full of serendipitous moments.



For more Mama, follow me on Twitter and Instagram.

Published by Christine Boatwright

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